Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
