we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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