Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
