he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
