Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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