my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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