The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
