I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
