im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
