Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
