I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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