I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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