we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize