I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
