a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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