Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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