Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
