I wish i was in the wii world.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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