shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
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