I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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