I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
