YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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