Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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