Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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