the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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