Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
