eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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