why didn't you poke me back
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
