I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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