She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
