what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
