i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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