So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
