where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just pee around me
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
