So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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