What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
