The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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