Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
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He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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