VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
