who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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