My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
