everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
