i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
