Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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