Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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