There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
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What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
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she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
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