Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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