sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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