You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
