I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
