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Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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