what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
