You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
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You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
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There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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