i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
