I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I party with great urgency now.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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