I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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