i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
