Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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