All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
