I think i sorta joined a cult last night
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
