Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
