she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
