he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Are my feet made of real feet?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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